An Honest Post About Home.

I got to be in Spain last week as part of a set-up trip for our mission and the trip was completely incredible! There were emotional highs and lows, excitement and grief, but overall it was an unforgettable experience that I am truly grateful for.

While we are stateside and support raising, I want nothing more than to jump up to 100% and head off to begin our new lives in Spain because, well, how exciting and fun does that sound?! But the reality is that we are not moving to Spain for a vacation, in fact I didn’t even pick this city or even this country to move to. There was a need and I volunteered to go. And the place that God wanted me to serve just happen to be this beautiful European country! (How lucky am I?) And as fun as it seems and as beautiful as it is, it is not my home… at least not yet. Right now, my home is Albuquerque. My friends, my family, the beautiful pink sunsets across the Sandia mountains, the cactus, the sopapillas, and everything else that I have grown to love are here! How does someone prepare to leave all of that so far behind? How do you grieve and balance the emotions of excitement and sorrow? So while I was in Spain, I found myself missing my home because, well, I need more time. Or at least that’s how I feel.

The reality is that you can only prepare for so much. I can begin grieving for my home now but that process will continue long after I leave. And throughout that process I will learn to find things that I love about Burgos and the people there. One day, Burgos will feel like home. Does that mean that it will be easy or that I will love this city right away? No. Does them mean I won’t have hard nights in Spain where I will want to quite and just come back to Albuquerque? No. But it means that I can pray for God to give me love for the city and the people and that my God is faithful and he will provide for me.

Don’t get me wrong, there are already so many things I love about Burgos! I love that the people are so passionate about the city and its history, I love the new food, the slower pace of life, I love the river that flows so closely to the Plaza. Everything there I find absolutely beautiful. But when will the newness of it all turn comfortable? When does the “vacation” turn into my home and residence? I don’t know and quite honestly I don’t think I will even see the change happening until I look back one day and say that Burgos is truly my home, where I have my dog and my friends, where I know my way around town and the best places to eat, and where I can speak the native language confidently.

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I don’t know how long this process will take and I don’t know yet how much I will miss Albuquerque. But I pray that God would let Burgos feel like home to me, and I am confident that one day it will… even if it takes a while.

So, how was my trip? It was beautiful, the food was amazing, we experienced so much, we prayed. And I am exited to go back but I am enjoying my time at home while I can. And I thank God for everyday I am still in Albuquerque, and for every percent closer we get to moving to Spain.